Tag: Love

light enough to belong

light enough to belong

“for those who were told they were too dark to deserve”

i was born under the same bastard sun –
but they prayed i’d bleach before i turned one.
grandma held me like a broken wish,
said, “don’t worry… kuch lep laga dena, this’ll fix.”

they checked my elbows, compared my knees,
scrubbed my neck like it held disease.
“no, she’s not adopted,” they’d often joke –
just darker than what the catalog spoke.

“kaali hai… par features ache hain,”
as if my nose could cancel melanin pain.
they fed me fair & lovely like holy truth,
taught me to chase what they stole from my youth.

schoolyards had jokes dressed as ‘funny friends’,
“aye, africa!” – laughter that never ends.
the teachers didn’t bat a single eye,
just marked me average and let it fly.

bollywood was no fucking better –
the villain’s dark, the hero’s letter
is stamped with gold, a glowing face,
the heroine’s skin a marriage base.

matrimonial ads read like casteist hymns:
“wheatish bride,” or “only fair-skinned!”
even gods in calendars have skin divine,
but look suspiciously european half the time.

my cousin’s baby came out brown –
they passed him around like mourning ground.
“don’t worry,” they said, “he’ll grow out of it,”
like melanin’s just some passing shit.

i’ve seen aunties bleach their pasty pain,
“beta, don’t go in sun – you’ll tan again.”
heard uncles say with pride and mirth,
“i chose my wife for her colour – not worth.”

they love dark skin on tv screens,
but not in daughters, or bridal scenes.
dark men can pass if rich and tall,
but dark girls? nah, that’s a fucking flaw.

and don’t get me started on fucking ads,
where black skin’s a before that always feels sad.
turn two tones fairer in seven days –
what a magical fucking casteist maze.

not once did they teach us love for shade –
just how to dodge it, bleach, and fade.
we chant unity in diversity on stage,
while burning dark dolls in every cage.

so, fuck your fairness creams and caste-filled gloss,
your shade charts that label humans as loss.
my skin is not your redemption arc –
it doesn’t need light to leave a mark.

my sunburnt soul was never yours to clean.
i wasn’t made to fit into your fairytale scene.
you don’t need light to be seen as bright –
i am fucking radiant in my own right.

the ballad of timeless me

the ballad of timeless me

“i’ve seen it all, babygirl”

i’m time -no cap, i’ve seen the scroll.
from boomers’ grooves to alpha’s toll.
each gen thinks they’re the final boss –
but trust me, love, y’all mid at most.

boomers: “talk softly, dress neat, write checks, repeat.”

they called me “hip,” they called me “rad,”
drank black coffee, not ‘dad-to-bad’.
they smoked indoors and said, “behave!”
then blamed it all on microwaves.

love notes folded like paper swans,
now y’all just text: “u up?” at dawn.
they feared long hair and disco lights –
now they’d trade their knees for tiktok likes.

gen x: “raised by vibes, powered by eye-rolls.”

gen x came through with shoulder shrugs,
too grunge to care, too broke for drugs.
watched mtv and wore disdain,
believed emotions were a scam campaign.

they walked so memes could later run –
invented cool, then dipped for fun.
used payphones, mixtapes, dial-up moans,
and ghosted you via dial tones.

millennials: “we brought brunch. you’re welcome.”

ah yes, the latte-generation crew,
cried at work and called it “breakthrough.”
they said “adulting” like it’s war,
then rage-quit zoom at 34.

they’re all “burnout,” “side-hustle,” “vibe,”
manifesting peace through spotify tribes.
they romanticized healing in cafes –
while buying crystals on emis.

gen z: “it’s giving… psychological warfare.”

then gen z burst in, full on flex,
with adhd and autocorrects.
said “rizz,” “slay,” “delulu” and “based,”
and typed in lowercase. unphased.

they cancel, stan, get un-cancelled too,
wear trauma like it’s a designer shoe.
invented “beige flags,” dated “icks,”
and argued love through instagram pics.

they don’t walk, they core -it’s a thing.
goblin, feral, clean girl, king.
gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss spree –
meanwhile, i’m in the corner like “bruh… me.”

gen alpha: “touchscreen toddlers and existential roblox.”

alpha? bro -they don’t even blink.
they google life before they think.
they don’t play tag -they play on apps,
get diagnosed by chatgpt claps.

they call mom “bruh,” call dad “npc,”
their lullaby? lo-fi adhd.
they’ve never seen a tree get climbed –
but can deepfake grandma in real time.

me  – time: “certified boomer, eternal slay.”

i’ve worn every font, danced every cringe,
from flared-out jeans to y2k fringe.
each era slaps, then fades away –
like facebook moms who learned to slay.

but through it all, i’ve watched y’all grow
from “yeet” to “yikes” to “ratio’d.”
and if you think you’ve changed the game?
just wait, the next one won’t know your name.

so post your pics, go viral fast,
make reels about your healing past.
but know this truth from someone wise:
even “forever”… gets archived.

hashtag me. meme me. cancel me twice –
i’m time, bestie. you’re just my slice.

airplane mode

airplane mode

“an ode to a man who glitched before he healed”

i woke with a flicker in the corner of my sight,
the ceiling fan spun like a buffering byte.
my bedsheet shimmered in 480p,
and my own hands lagged behind me.

outside, the trees refreshed in loops,
birds chirped in tones from whatsapp groups.
the sky had a filter, warm and fake,
the clouds swiped left before they could break.

my coffee steamed like a netflix stream,
my mirror pixelated mid-daydream.
when i blinked, my face would freeze,
like a paused call in a foreign breeze.

i ran to a doctor, then three, then more,
they said it was stress – or metaphor.
“your mind’s a modem, overfed,”
but i knew it was my soul instead.

i lived on rectangles, scrolled to sleep,
sought dopamine in every beep.
i loved in texts, fought in threads,
and cried in memes while breaking breads.

my work was slack, my rest was screen,
my prayers – just playlists in between.
even silence had a buzzing tone,
and i felt most distant when never alone.

so i fled.

not a wellness retreat with leafy tea,
but a forest with no electricity.
no signal bars, no glowing keys,
just dirt and dew and dragonflies.

the first night, my fingers shook,
reaching for screens that never looked.
i whispered “okay google” to a stone,
and wept when it did not answer the tone.

but then, a curious thing began –
the stars showed up, unfiltered, grand.
the moon said nothing but stayed so still,
and i felt a fullness i couldn’t fill.

the rain fell like applause on trees,
the wind told jokes in rustling leaves.
and slowly, my breath began to sync,
with the universe’s ancient link.

i watched the sunrise load in full,
without a lag, without a pull.
and i didn’t share it. i just knew –
it was meant for me, not the algorithm’s view.

now, i walk where no cables hum,
where tweets are sung, not thumbed.
i listen more, i speak in tone,
i’ve updated into flesh and bone.

once, i feared disconnection’s gate,
now, solitude feels like a clean slate.
this isn’t exile – it’s a return.
a flick of a switch – the soul’s concern.

so no, i’m not off.
i’m not away.
i’m just on
airplane mode.

A Love Lost Across Continents

A Love Lost Across Continents

 

I have a story to tell;
Different…yet all the same.
Don’t know if it all went well.
It all comes down to one name.

Two thousand and Fourteen.
A year of my aspirations.
I was a robotic teen
Fidgeting over my ambitions.

‘A little different’ is what they called me;
For my apparent lack of emotions.
But I knew that for me
‘Love’ wasn’t ever a notion.

I thought I knew everything;
Especially what the word meant.
Never had I had the feeling;
I think I was over-confident.

Came the month of September,
I was active on the internet.
Facebook brought the strangest wonder;
A name that requested to connect.

Blamed for having unfriended,
I fought with all my might.
But soon we had concluded,
It was ignorance that caused the plight.

The 25th day of the month;
Our bond was on a new hype.
The talks reached a new length.
The only option was Skype.

The talks became very regular;
Though there was no such intention.
My departure to passion was the trigger.
She had become a strange compulsion.

Then came the news of my failure,
Dejected, rejected, loitering around.
She became my only pillar.
It was new what I had found.

It took me months to really know
What exactly it was;
Recalling the events in a row,
I wondered why our paths did cross?

There was that strange urge in me
Accompanied by a dark fear.
‘Does she feel the same for me?’
It was yet not that clear.

I saw her with different eyes,
She sat there with a halo above.
Saw those heavenly eyes,
Yes… I had fallen in Love.

The end of the first month,
My fear had almost subsided.
I was a soldier on the battlefront,
With his life, all decided.

My plans were postponed;
When our friend found our dire need.
But then my heart condoned…
I cannot delay the deed.

Came February the 12th.
I restlessly read my verse.
I could have given all my wealth,
For a ‘yes’ from who meant me my Universe.

Long Distance was difficult,
I knew it was not impossible.
For it was true what we felt.
Nothing else seemed as credible.

It took us a while to share,
The beautiful three-word phrase.
It was all more than fair.
A reality we had to face.

The bond strengthened in your visit.
We were still shy and conserved;
The relation had been tightly knit.
It was what our bond deserved.

You returned, a sad day indeed.
The few days thence were painful;
Understanding my life’s only need,
I tried to make yours colourful.

We achieved in long distance,
What few achieve together.
Trust, Love, and Patience;
To sum it all together.

Months of cries and laughter;
As if we always held hands,
Sitting beside each other.
It all went as planned.

Until the day I came to this city,
In the midst of all my fears,
Confounded, in a bad self-pity,
I couldn’t then see that clear.

What was the most beautiful,
I made it so dark for you,
Trying to grasp with a handful,
My horrors had all come true.

I couldn’t give you what you needed,
That was my biggest mistake.
I had already conceded…
That my actions would lead to your heartbreak.

Desperate to find a solution,
Though it was straight in my sight;
I had dissolved myself in confusion,
Couldn’t give circumstances a fight.

Came that unfortunate night,
It was long that I had been away.
My actions were never right;
I led it all to that day.

It all hit me in a go,
All the wrongs that I had done.
In my desperate attempts to grow,
I had lost the one.

I was born stupid.
That is needless to mention.
When I had all that I needed,
Follies were all I had done.

Apology is a minor repentance,
I shall regret being myself for life.
I have no excuses for my ignorance.
Myself dropped my heart on a knife.

I regret being so senseless.
So much more I could have been.
Born with an inability to express,
I came between our own dreams.

Can give anything for what we held.
Those were the best times.
I have so much more to tell.
Can’t get it all in rhymes.

I was a big failure,
But that’s not what I wanted to be.
I have shed my idiotic demeanour,
I just wanted her to see.

These past months were difficult for me,
Even if it was all my fault.
What I needed, I couldn’t see,
Our bond had come to a halt.

But that doesn’t change a few facts,
Even if we have missed out a lot.
I couldn’t show through my acts,
But live without you, I might not.

I failed my first promise,
I cannot hate myself more.
But I want us to have what we’ve missed,
I won’t hold it back anymore.

You have always deserved the best,
That I couldn’t be.
Fate had laid down a test,
I failed at it, miserably.

I want to make amends,
To make up for what we lost.
It is not here that it ends…
I just need the last of your trust.

I know it would be very hard,
The fear of feeling that pain.
The pain of being so apart,
You do not want to feel again.

But trust me when I say this,
I fear losing you even more,
Won’t commit the same mistakes.
Won’t ever shut the door.

It has always been so very simple,
That a complex answer is what I sought.
Talk, share, cry and giggle.
But my absence formed a clot.

The journey would be unparalleled,
If you are a part of it.
You have done all you could have,
To me… Leave the rest.

These aren’t mere flowery lines…
I tried to be as real as I could have.
I think I took a lot of time,
To say what I just should have.

I don’t want you to leave me,
I know I couldn’t be more selfish.
But I know, you still love me.
I cannot let ‘us’ perish.

Whatever is your decision,
I would ever be there for you.
I would give you every reason,
To start it all anew.

Just one last thing I need to do.
I really think I owe it to tell you.
Even through the darkest of blues,
Girl… I will never forget you.

Freckles of Love

Freckles of Love

Another morning came by,
My friends loitering around.
Faked the perfect sleep,
Interrupted by their sound.
Couldn’t dare to nap.
Fear the dreams, I always will.
‘Look in my dreams and you shall find,
Freckles of Love, Still.’
.
Confused at work thereafter,
Mixing up in directions.
I want to tell their laughter,
It is not the brain that malfunctions.
Enraged when they called a shrink,
Got me that depression pill.
‘Look in my brain and you shall find,
Freckles of Love, Still.’
.
My vision’s sometimes distracted,
I look to the ceiling and the walls.
Snapped back by waving hands,
Or sometimes texts or calls.
A diverted attention gets rage,
Cursed in voices so darn shrill.
‘Look in my eyes and you shall find,
Freckles of Love, Still.’
.
A heart within my chest
Pains more with every beat.
How can something hurt so much,
Protected by that thick sheet?
My palm frequently clutches my chest,
Traversing my spine, a chill.
It is not a hole that can end me,
It is worse than what can kill.
Look in my heart, and you shall find
Freckles of love, still.
.
It was weak to start with,
It was always going downhill.
‘My ‘love’ was never mine’,
That’ll be the only phrase in my will.
But even then, if you don’t believe,
If you have blanks to fill…
Just look in my ashes… And you shall find,
Freckles of Love, Still…